


Hallelujah

by ukuvio



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, It's just really short, M/M, Sadness, Terminal Illnesses, and sad, buckle yourselves in, i guess, open ending but not quite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 13:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21100103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukuvio/pseuds/ukuvio
Summary: The beeping of the heart monitor mocks him, and he feels pathetic.





	Hallelujah

**Author's Note:**

> Of all of the hundreds of songs with the word "Hallelujah," I'm specifically referencing Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran. 
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy.

Tyler wakes soundlessly, his eyes opening wantonly and searching the room with purpose. The last traces of his nightmare seem to lurk in the shifting shadows, and unsurprisingly the sun still hasn't risen.

It never does anymore. 

One day, the world was swiftly engulfed in darkness, the night overtaking the day and drowning it in anguish. Time seemed to move slower after that. 

The moon instead hangs in its place, an inert eye from where he could see it in the window. Its grayish, wan light causes a churning in his gut, blues thrumming beneath his skin.

He rolls over, straining for a body beside him, a chest to burrow against, only for his hand to meet the cloth of the comforter, a sigh on his lips. 

He gets ready quickly, as he always does, nestling his tie right against the hollow of his throat. Josh laughed at him every morning when they used to get ready together and loosen it, showing him to not pull the final knot so tight. Tyler knows how tight to tie a tie, he's always known.

He supposes he's going to have to loosen it by himself from now on.

As he leaves, he struggles to shut the door, checking twice that it's locked. He might be gone for a while and doesn't want any trouble.

He arrives at the hospital a few moments later. 

He doesn't need to introduce himself or check-in, and he greets all the nurses by name. They don't even bat an eye seeing him around anymore. To them, Tyler reckons it seems as if he's always here.

He lets his feet guide him; they know where he needs to be. 

He cracks the door open, gentle, whether in caution or fear, he doesn't know. Josh looks so sickly and frail, slick in sludgy moonshine when he turns to look back at him.

"Hey." His lips are the color of the navy sky outside but still manage to twitch into a smile. "You didn't loosen your tie."

"Forgot." He speaks briefly, biting his tongue. The tears are already springing up. "I always forget."

"I know." Josh murmurs, low and quiet. "You always do."

Tyler walks over to the side of the bed, gripping the railing. His knuckles are bloodless. "I'm sorry I didn't bring you flowers. It was the least I could do."

Josh chuckles, eyes flickering, before reaching for Tyler's hand to embrace it with his own. "It's not a funeral."

It might as well be. 

Tyler watches Josh's eyes disappear behind his lids, momentarily, and he takes a shuddering breath. His lungs wheeze with the strain, and his eyes cloud with overdue tears. 

"I'm scared." His hands are clasped tightly over his stomach as if he's preparing to pray. "They said I won't make it through-"

"I know," Tyler interrupts. He doesn't want to hear the words again. "I know."

"I hope the afterlife is pretty. Like all it's worked up to be."

Tyler slides to his knees. His heart hurts, _ burns, _ and his eyes sting. "Josh, I can't do this without you. I need you here. Please." He can hear the desperation in his voice as he pleads, begging for more time. "We can find more money, I'll try and take out another loan-"

"No." Josh sighs, shaky and heavy. "It's not worth it. _ I'm _not worth it."

"Don't talk like that." The beeping of the heart monitor mocks him, and he feels pathetic. "Please. We can keep fighting-"

"No," Josh says again, but this time it's sterner. "I'm tired of this. Countless hospital visits, sleepless nights, so many pills. I'm so tired." 

Tyler wipes at his eyes and tries to breathe because he knows. None of this is new, because he knows it all. "Please." 

He meets Tyler's eyes, and he looks so raw, so sorry. 

"You don't need to waste any more money. They said it was incurable for the beginning. We were the ones who were naive."

Tyler shakes his head, almost in reverence, and rubs his eyes vigorously. He sees spots but presses harder, anything to distract himself. "I love you. So much."

"Stand up."

He obeys because it's really all he can handle. 

"Kiss me."

He leans forward, cradling Josh's face in his hands, and presses their lips so close together. It's soft and Josh's stubble scrapes roughly against his fingers, but it's so heated he breathes into it. One of Josh's hands slides down from where it rests on Tyler's neck to stop over his racing heart, and Tyler hurries to clasp it and pull it closer to his chest. The kiss tastes a little salty from their tears, but Tyler still relishes in it like it's the last time he'll get to do this. In all fairness, it could be.

Tyler pulls away, and Josh doesn't let go of his hand. 

"I love you too."

Tyler holds his hand as his love flutters in and out of consciousness, humming softly. 

The night is speechless, eerily so, and it's now that Tyler notices how dismal this all is. He wishes things were different, that somehow he could still be with Josh, but he knows he has to accept this, that it's hopeless to think otherwise. The sky has blackened into a deep charcoal hue, and in this cue of twisted nightfall, there is no light, there are no stars. 

"I love you too." 

The heart monitor sounds one final time.

The moon looks on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Feedback and comments are much appreciated.


End file.
